Donna Karan – U.O.Me 1 reel of topstitching thread – black. Thank you.

Boy, oh boy, oh boy! V1324 from the Donna Karan collection for Vogue. What can I say?

Because the first garment I made for an actual human (not a doll) was a skirt; because I've been sewing a very long time, and have literally made hundreds over the (gulp!) decades, I thought if there's any garment I can make without a toilé, its a skirt. WRONG!

I wish I was wise enough to check online reviews of imminent projects before launching gung ho into them.  If I'd read this or this or even this I'd have been weary. But I didn't. And ended up with this:

What the...? I'm sorry, Donna, if you're going to offer up your designs to the masses (especially at Vogue Designer premium prices), you need to toilé them on real women. 6ft tall models are the exception, not the median.

So, after unpicking row after row after row of black topstitching and wacking in enough safety pins to rival Liz Hurley, I had this:

To remove the poocheness, I've dropped the entire front by 2cm, curving the front seams back into the original seam allowance at the point where the two seams meet. Plus the darts have been eliminated entirely as they became unnecessary. Chalk marks denote the finished stitching lines. While I was at it I ripped out the zip and dropped the centre back by 1.5cm - have a slight sway back which usually doesn't need adjustments but this pattern seemed to emphasis it. Also, all seam allowances below the hips were decreased from 1.5cm to 1cm so I can actually walk in the skirt.

But it didn't end there! Trying it on after all those adjustments, I spied the hem dipping down in the front. Fortunately, last week I picked up a chalk puff hem marker for $10 from the Sallies, and 5 minutes later was loping a massive 3cm off the front hem, sloping back to nothing at side back seams.

Finally, one year later, I have this:

Luckily, I like it. May even make it again in denim. (This time it's made in Italian worsted wool, but because I've lightened the pix so the details are more visible, unfortunately it look washed out.)

UFO over and out.